NACCOL and Me

Izinkan saya bercerita. 

+-800 hari. 

Alhamdulillah untuk sekitar 800 hari sebagai Sekretariat. Banyak sangat yang dipelajari sepanjang tempoh itu. Bermula pada tahun 2021, dan masih direzekikan sehingga hari ini. Secara jujur, tempoh 800 hari itu adalah tempoh yang sangat lama. Membuka ruang kepada terlalu banyak perkara demi melengkapkan sebuah cerita. 

It is NACCOL. Apa tu NACCOL? Frankly, that was my first time I heard about it. Since the day I got the offer, slowly I learn about working industry, and slowly climbing up my career journey. Banyak perkara dipelajari dan ditimba, sama banyak dengan tangisan dan tawa. 

I can still remember. At the moment I started working, it was still during the PKP. People are not allowed to work at the office as it might lead to a new cluster. Then again, masih diberi kesempatan untuk berada di pejabat secara fizikal memandangkan ada mesyuarat penting pada ketika itu. Bayangkan, dah lah baru masuk. Ada mesyuarat penting pulak tu. Oh God. What is it waiting and written for me here? That was Mesyuarat Peringkat Eksekutif NACCOL, chaired by the Minister of KPDN (was KPDNHEP before).

I can say, that it was only a teaser. There's more waiting for me. 

Few months later, ada event besar. They called it as Symposium on Cost of Living 2021 or SCOL2021. I didnt know how big it is. A clueless Alia, I just follow what they do, and what was assigned to me. I can say, that was the first event for me. And, Alhamdulillah. Tugasan Keurusetiaan pertama berjalan lancar. 

Kemudian, 2022 pun datang. Hah! First quarter was good. Second quarter until half of third quarter, I went crazy. After that dah slow down a bit, dah boleh terima dengan apa yang jadi, dah boleh adapt dengan apa yang perlu dibuat. What a roller coaster of 2022. 365 hari je. Tapi bermacam perkara jadi. Mula dengan mesyuarat sebulan sekali dengan Menteri, tiba-tiba ada mesyuarat seminggu dua kali dengan another Menteri. Ada pulak another mesyuarat yang kalau ikut terma rujukan, setahun dua kali je. Tapi beliau nak jumpa dua atau tiga bulan sekali. Itu Perdana Menteri waktu itu. 

Oh. Bukan tu saja. Dalam pada ada mesyuarat seminggu dua kali tu, ada juga kerja-kerja ad-hoc lain dan deadline yang perlu dikejar. Dan dalam banyak perkara yang jadi tu, banyak juga perkara yang dipelajari. Dari situlah belajar to stay alert dengan issues related to our portfolio, to communicate, networking, stay in touch with people, to keep calm di saat keadaan keliling tengah macam dikejar zombi, untuk bersabar dengan kerenah dan permintaan manusia yang pelbagai. In short, I cried, I mad, I laugh, I chill. 

And then here comes 2023. First quarter je dah mula boom! Pegi kerja pagi, balik kerja malam. Outstation sana sini, mesyuarat sana sini. Rumah dah jadi hotel. Setiap bulan ada kerja luar. Kalau takde kerja luar, ada task/ mesyuarat yang menuntut untuk stay back office. Thought 2022 was hard enough, but 2023 offered similar. Banyak program, banyak tugas, banyak drama. Malaysia ada 14 negeri. Dalam masa setahun, dah jejak 13 negeri (kecuali Perak). Walaupun penat, it was a cherishable experience. I might not get what I went through anywhere else. Pengalaman yang sangat mahal. Di sini start get to speak to those in the higher position. Gen-Director, Deputy Sec-Gen, Ministers, even the Prime Minister pun ada ruang to speak with him casually. 

Overall, it was a wonderful memories and impactful experience. I would like to convey my gratitute to the top management of Secretariat NACCOL for the opportunity, advises, lessons, cares and loves given. The hashtag that I always use; #majulahnaccoluntuknegara. Semoga NACCOL terus bangun dan maju untuk menangani kos sara hidup rakyat. Semoga terus-terusan membanggakan rakyat Malaysia. ❤

Random Update

Hewwu, guys.! Ssup? Salomz.

How are youuuu? It has been a while I'm not writing here. I'm doing good for the past months. Living and cherishing the days that get in my way. 

So, how was I? How am I? Hm. It's half of the year. And it has been about 4 months since I last wrote something here? I went through a lot, I can say. Like really a lot. Work-wise, circle-wise, emotional-wise. But I am so thankful to everyone in my circle sebab hadap je my random rant. All those rants are to keep me sane, okay? 

Really. Random betul tiba-tiba send a text bgtau penat kerja lah, mental cant take it anymore lah, feels like crying my heart out lah, and many more. For real, those were random. Sebab taktau nak cerita dekat sape en, so I just text anybody I feels like to. 

Eh actually, it has been a while since I last had a solid crying session. Recently bila nak nangis, dapat kejap je. Lepastu back to my normal activities. I am in need of that one time crying session instead of bersedih every day, tapi sekejap-sekejap. Tak best! Hahahah. 

I dont know what to write, actually. Cuma nak gunakan this platform to thank everybody for helping me keep my sanity in good condition. I owe you guys big time. I love you so much! 

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CONGRATULATIONS, DEARSELF!

Hewwu Assalamualaikum!

As you can see from the title, I JUST GRADUATED! Graduated as in being celebrated with a convocation ceremony. Yay! Grad yang habis study tu tahun lepas. Supposedly the convocation is last year as well. But nevermind. I'm taking this opportunity to thank everyone involves in the journey. As well as putting the pictures here for memories. So here we begin! 💪

daripada

"Yaa, awak sambung master kat MMU gak eh?"

kepada

"Dah baca ke case stdy?"

"Faham tak theory ni?"

"Papers lecturer bg dh go through ke?"

"TAKFAHAM LAH ASSIGNMENT NI PASAL APA?!"

"Apa outcome subject ni untuk kita eh?"

"Thesis dah start banyak mana dah?"

"Chapter 2 panjang mana?"

"NAD TAK JUMPA SAMPAI SEPULUH PUNNN FRAMEWORK NADDD!!"

"Nak copy paste je boleh tak?"

"NAK QUIT PLEASE!"

"Kita send sesama, Yaa!"
and the rest is history

Known her since Alpha year, took different path during UGRD due to difference of courses and major. Back for PGRD, and stuck for the whole journey?! Hahahah. Thank you so much, Nadhirah! For everything that we went through. We literally grow together. Daripada tak rapat, jadi rapat. Daripada awkward, jadi selesa. Daripada 'we in touch only for study matter' sampai boleh cerita about other things jugak. I'm so glad for knowing you, even prouder to grow together with you. Congratulations for your achievements! You did amazing. Despite the countless times of saying you want to quit, you managed to get everything done. I'm so proud of you! 

"I didnt get you a sunflower, but I got you a sunflower seed instead."

Ini kuaci. I told this person that I want sunflower, but I wasnt serious. Look at thisssss. Random dan rare betul bagi kuaci. Orang bagi coklat lah time convo! 

Anyways, thank you for everything, you. Since day 1. I am really grateful for knowing you. I owe you big time, brader. And congratulations for your achievements. Looking forward to watch you get on the stage soon. 

This is tulip. The person giving me this was not in the journey, witnessing my struggles. But still wants to congratulate me. Hehehe. Thank you. For being proud of me. You might have no idea for what I went through, but you have faith in me in getting my Master's degree. Thank you! I really appreciated it. 

Missing: Kak Suki, Haziq, Dian, Fong

Our ws group name is 'Me Busy Always'. Sebab apa? Our Accounting lecturer during first semester said that MBA does not stands for Master of Business Administration. It is Me Busy Always. And PhD didnt stands for Philosophy Doctorate. It is 'Permanent Head Damage'. Sangat begitu ya, rakan-rakan. Kami memang busy ever since the 3rd week of first semester. At the end of the first semester, sikit lagi punya pressure kita tak rupa orang dah. Second semester? Adapted and adapting with the environment. But it was better than the first semester. Keadaan menjadi zombi tu tak teruk, rakan-rakan. Zombi tetap zombi, takboleh lari. Breakdown, rasa nak quit, tetap ada. BUT WE DID IT! 

Anyway, terima kasih untuk segalanya, rakan-rakan saya. I'm glad that our path crossed. Thank you for growing with me. They taught me a lot. Like so much! I'm looking forward for your turn to get on the stage, receiving your scroll. 

I would like to deliver an appreciation to everyone involves throughout the entire journey. Be it directly or indirectly. Sangat terhutang budi dengan kalian. Thank you for all the motivations and spirit booster, thank you for witnessing my "nak quit laaaaaa." moments, for lending me your ears and shoulder whenever I feels like crying, for helping me with my assignments and papers, for participating as my sample data. Ahh, FOR EVERYTHING!

Thank you so much! I wouldnt be here today without your support. I wouldnt be able to finish my paper without you, I might drop-out and quit in the middle of the journey. But look at me. I'm here. It is all because of you, every one of you. I didnt quit. I manage to get it done, be on the stage, get my scroll. You are proud of me? 

Lastly, I dedicated this achievement to this person, the strongest pillar in my life. Mama Angah, I did it! This one is for you both. Terima kasih untuk segalanya. 

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F You.

I am disappointed. 

I cannot digest what you said. Really. 

Apa, youu? You dont remember what happened? Apaaa? I tak faham. Kenapa eh? I serious taktau nak digest macam mana all that you said. You tak ingat apa jadi, you tak faham why I treat it as a big issue. Eh, I lagi tak faham dengan you, dengan your behavior, tau. 

You hurt me for years, you cheat me, ignored me, ghosted me. You come to me whenever you want, and live as if nothing is happening. Then the next day you repeat the cycle. Pegi dekat orang lain, lebihkan orang lain, dan biarkan I menunggu you macam orang bodoh. Apa ni? I tak faham. You dah buat macam-macam kot. Tapi I masih dekat situ, menunggu. Berharap you akan datang kepada I. Tapi apa I dapat? You taknampak pun I. Sekilas pun you tak pandang I. You ajar I to live my days without you. You ajar I untuk bangun sendiri kalau I jatuh. You ajar I untuk tak berharap pada you. 

On the day I decided to walk away, you didnt do anything pun. You didnt put any effort to make me stay. You didnt fight. You just let it be. Tapi, do you know what's worst? You have the audacity to call me 'sampah' just because I dumped you. You called me 'sampah' just because I told you that I have somebody else. Five years of waiting just to be called as trash. F you. 

January 2020

Google Photos reminded me of these. 

The picture was taken on 15 January 2020. Our final paper. Like finals final before focusing on our final year project (FYP). 

It has been 2 years, tau. I have no idea. Soooo fast. 

And I survived that approximately 2 years of leaving school. (sebab dah 2 years gak kita ber-covid). 

It's not an easy journey. Not at first in the beginning, not at all till the end. Writing a thesis, in the midst of MCO, not allowed to go out living as usual, not be able to meet the acquaintance physically. And I survived. 

The ups and downs during the period were un-explain-able. Countless times of crying and breakdown, lost, lose of interest, feels like quitting study. Depressed in short. And I made it, at the end of the day. I finished my thesis, I submitted it. I have graduated. Please someone congratulate me and tell me that you are proud of me. Because I am. :')

Lastly, congratulations to my mates! We did it. :')