SALAM SATU NOVEMBER!
*tiberr*
Assalamualaikum dan hai.
Apa khabar semorang? Oke ke tu? Harap semua semakin baik-lah dengan keadaan sekarang.
Harini rasa nak menulis sebab aku ada satu persoalan yang dah lamaaaaa membelenggu fikiran aku. Aku taktau nak tanya siapa or nak refer siapa. Tujuan aku tulis dekat sini pun sebab aku nak benda ni get out of my head. The more aku simpan, the more benda ni mengganggu aku. Jadi kepada kalian yang membaca, cuba bagi buah fikiran sikit lepas ni eh? 😁
Let's begin, that I was in an unhealthy relationship before. I am firm that we didnt end the relationship with a good term. We both left each other without any closure on what/where we went wrong. In the beginning, I tried to hold on. Not giving a chance to let it go, or giving up. I tried to gain his attention. But he didnt get it. He let his eyes and mind on others. I believe, I did ask him what does he want. I ask him whether he want the relationship to end, or did he lost interest in me. And none of the questions get its answer. Not even a solid answer. I would say, I was left hanging.
He did so much, yet so many chances were given to him. He could go days of not talking to me, and the next day he come to me as if nothing happen. Another day he would ghosts me again, and then come to talk to me the next day. With me being a stupid fella, the circle goes on for years. What a waste of time. Hah!
One day, something happened to me that make me down to the lowest point of my life. You guess it right, he wasnt there to comfort me. That was the point that knock the sense in my head. I decided to walk away, similar way as he did to me before. It just that I ignored him for days, not even a moment I entertain his call or texts. Until he gave up.
A year later, he came back to ask for closure on what happened that make me avoiding him. Alia kan baik. Layan kan aje. Hahahah. For almost a year jugak lah layan dia balik. Throughout that one year of 'getting back', nampaknya beliau tidak berubah ya. Semacam masih sama dengan beliau yang dulu. Hm. Takpelah. Layan je lahh. Tak fikir jodoh pun, fikir nak berkawan je. Maka saya pun membiarkan perkara itu. Just follow the flow omputeh kataa.
Long story short, I decided to actually walk away from his life. Without having a talk with him, I just left. My decision of walking out of that 'relationship' was due to my own health, mental health especially. Weh, penat weh berperang dengan diri sendiri nak jaga relationship padahal the other party bolayan je. Mampos!
So, I'm off from any relationship, thinking to heal myself. It has been 2 or 3 years? Tetapi nampaknya macam tak heal eh? Sebab masih memikirkan hal ni. 😅 Takpelah. I'm good, anyways. Hahaha.
(Disclaimer: this is just one-sided story. Not even a full-length story.)
p/s: If you read this, I leave it to you to decide nak bagi closure or not. You didnt owe me any explanation. :)
**
Tak. I tipu. I really need you to explain it to me. I really wish for you to make me understand what and why you do what you did.
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